Yes, I am THAT girl. Oh, now you remember me? That’s it!
I’m the one what sat at the back of the class, row three. I drew those pictures
– the ones that you tore up because you thought they weren’t good enough. I
spent hours, put in effort into those drawings, only to have you rip them up. I
cried that day. No, that doesn’t mean that I am weak. But yes, I cried – all day.
Yes, I see it in your eyes. You remember me now. Yes! The
one who wrote those poems that you thought were “too depressing”. You tore one
of those up too. I spent my afternoon fixing it. I picked up each and every
piece that you threw to the ground, and taped them back together. You thought
it would no longer serve me a purpose, but you were wrong.
It was a song, you know - about love, about peace, about
happiness – and when you tore that sheet of paper up, in a way, I guess you
tore me a bit. You see, those words on the page were not a love story, they
were a dream. It’s not a secret that I didn’t have the popularity or the guy.
It’s not a secret that I wasn’t happy either. I guess the worst part is that
the whole school knew my pain, and yet you found joy in bringing me more.
Naturally, they stood by and watched as I was humiliated, again and again.
I guess now it doesn’t matter. None of it matters
anymore. After I stuck those pieces of paper back together, I put music to the
lyrics. Nobody ever heard that song - Nobody, except for me. I guess if the
truth be told, that’s the only person it was ever really intended for.
Don’t you do that! Do not start crying. I will not sympathise
with you. I will not comfort you. I’m not doing it out of spite – you taught me
a valuable lesson that I must only look within myself to find happiness. You
taught me to stop the tears myself and I intend to now teach you that same
lesson. It will benefit you, I promise.
You know, I even remember what day it was, the day when
you told me that I would fail. It was a Wednesday when you told me that I would
always be “lesser”, that I could never be anything worthwhile or of importance.
I guess you were right. I’m not a doctor, therefore I don’t save lives. I’m not
an artist, therefore I don’t bring colour into people’s world. I do not
entertain people; I am not an idol for anyone. But no, sweetheart, that does
not mean that I have failed. You may not see it, but I do. I see the sunlight
when I open my eyes. I see the blue skies and the green grass. I hear the birds
and the dogs in the park across the road from my house.
I’m not perfect, I’m not whole, but I am happy.
