The Boy That I Will Always Love

Silently, I sit and watch from a far

I say nothing from fear of letting something slip

They must not know the pain I feel

As if I’m looking through a pane of glass

I wish that he could understand

I long from him to see how I wish he were mine

A pang of jealousy runs through me

But still, I remain silent ‘cuz I know it just can’t be

They laugh and play, unaware of me

Pain consumes me and my every thought

A lone tear slips past my lashes

I cannot help myself this time

Never will I be able to hold him as my own

I’ve lost the one I truly love and it’ll never be known

And so I must live though countless

Every time I remember he’ll never be mine

And so today, I realise

That it is time for me to say goodbye

To both a very old and dear friend

And the boy that I will always love

The Ugly White Swan

  There is a girl that I once knew. She was smart, beautiful and popular. She was everything that anyone would want to be. She was always surrounded by people, always involved in a conversation, always busy with something or someone. Where ever she went, she always had a smile on her face. Everyone thought she was happy, even me. I mean, who wouldn’t be happy considering everything she had.

  I was friendly with her, but I didn’t really know her all that well.

  Then, one day, early in winter, I found her crying behind some tree’s at school. Naturally, I tried to comfort her. I asked her what was wrong.

  “There is so much that’s wrong,” she admitted to me, “all day, every day, I this act on that I’m happy with who I am. In truth, I’d much rather be alone some of the time, just reading a book on the steps, rather than being surrounded by all those people. Just once, I want to do something, not because I know everyone else wants me to do it, but for myself, because I want to do it.”

  I was shocked at what she had just confessed to me. Here I was thinking how happy she always was. I had always thought that anyone would be happy with everything that she did have. I realised that although she was happy on the outside, behind closed doors, she was a total wreck. She had never admitted it to anyone, and now that she had, she could admit it to herself.

  So the next day, at break, we took a book and sat down on the steps, just as she wanted. And for once, I saw how she looked when she was truly happy. She was finally doing something for herself and she felt amazing. Ever since that day, we’ve been best friends. I know that I can count on her and she knows that she can always count on me.

  Now, when she walks down the halls at school, she is genuinely happy. She may not always be surrounded by people, but she’s happy.  That’s not to say that she never talks to anyone or that she’s not still friends with all those people, but she knows that when she needs a break, she can always just get up and leave.

  So that’s how I learned that the one person that you can always count on is yourself. I look back on the day that I admitted to myself that I was unhappy and I smile, because that was the day that I truly discovered myself.

Take Control

You didn’t stop me before I left

Maybe it would have worked out if you’d only believed

But now it’s too late to come back

Begging for me to take you back

I’m stronger than ever

You have no more hold on my soul

I realise my mistake

I am no longer for the taking

Don’t think that I am worthless

I’m worth more than you will ever be

I control my life myself

No one can change that at all

You’re a cold black spot in my life

Now I’ve seen the light

The darkness won’t take me away

Never again

Lips The Colour of a Rose

Eyes the colour of the ocean

Lips the colour of a rose

A voice as soft as a feather

Floating higher in the sky

You wrap your arms around me

My safe place

And every time I close my eyes

I see your face

You make me smile when I am down

You make me laugh when I’d rather cry

You know just what to say

To make me fall in love with you

All over again

Kisses sweeter than cotton candy

Whispers low just like the tide

Happiness engulfs me and

There’s no way I can hide it

There is no place I’d rather be

Than right here

No one I’d rather spend my time with

You wrap your arms around me

My safe place

And every time I close my eyes

I see your face

You make me smile when I am down

You make me laugh when I’d rather cry

You know just what to say

To make me fall in love with you

All over again

The Best December

Memories will last forever

Teardrops will fall even wetter

A summer never to be forgotten

Getting to know myself again

New faces to see and meet

Old friends to re-embrace

A love of everyone so close together

It truly was a great December

How lucky I see I was

Never let go of what was gained

Even though there were hard times

It was definitely worth it in the end

A second home so different

And yet it feels so alike

I love how we were all united

Everybody helping one another

Some friendships may not last

Some may last a lifetime

Relationships developed stronger

New bonds tied with new ropes

And now that it has reached the end

I cannot hide it, can’t pretend

That I will long for you until

I can see you just once more <3

If You Don’t Fall, You’ll Never Fly

How will you know how to push boundaries?

How can you conquer it all?

How can you love him, just like that?

Without really knowing what you’re doing

If you don’t fall then you’ll never fly

If you don’t drop then you’ll never soar

Take that risk, take that chance today

It’ll pay, it’ll pay

Why would you even think of giving up?

Why would you let go of him now?

Why would you give up this feeling?

Before you even knew what it was

If you don’t fall then you’ll never fly

If you don’t drop then you’ll never soar

Take that risk, take that chance today

It’ll pay, it’ll pay

A baby chick would never learn to survive

If its mother didn’t push it further than ever

But once that first realisation kicks in

There’s nothing that you’d rather want

If you don’t fall then you’ll never fly

If you don’t drop then you’ll never soar

Take that risk, take that chance today

It’ll pay, it’ll pay

She had to fall in order to fly

She needed to drop to learn how to soar

She took the risks and that changed today and tomorrow

Now it’s paying

She took the risks,

Now she has learned to fly

Very Best Friends

A sacred thing, a heart of gold

Words so strong they’ll never grow old

Many things, a mentor included

But most importantly, a friend that is needed

Side by side and hand in hand

They’ll swim through oceans and travel the land

Never letting go of the beloved

A bond that cannot ever be severed

Hard times and pain will come

But it’ll be worth it when it’s all done

And they that they have each other

The hold and help when there’s lightning and thunder

Their destiny rests in the fate of the stars

It’s set in stone, it’s who they are

And so it’s no shock in the end

That they are scheduled to be wed

A dashing groom and his bride so pretty

Their lives will continue with much joy and glee

A brand new family starts today

New bonds are made again, to stay

And through hard times, they never stopped

Then there were highs where they topped

They stuck with each other ‘til the end

They are truly the very best of friends J

Take Your Hand

His eyes so blue like the depths of an ocean

An unspoken world of betrayal lies just beyond

The harder you fall or his lies and deception

The more hurt and broken you’ll become

Your heart screams how much you love him

Your head shouts that you are just being a fool

Surely love’s not meant to feel so wrong

People looking in don’t realise it at all

What goes on under the radar where no one knows

On the outside, always smiling, always happy

On the inside you’re just waiting to run

But I can see it, past your smile and laughter

When I look into your eyes I just know

They look at me and plead with such desperation

For me to take your hand and run, and never stop

Not a moment too soon, I grab onto you

Just a second before you shatter like a glass

I’ll hold you, carry you when you need me most

Because if I didn’t, what kind of a best friend would I be

Apples at Midnight

I wrote this essay for my grade 9 English class in 2011

As Rebecca pulls into a parking space, the nerves finally hit her. She glances down at the platinum and diamond ring, sparkling on her finger, and can’t help but smile. She clutches the ancient apple pie recipe in her hand and reviews what she will need to buy: sugar, vinegar, cinnamon, lemon and large, red apples.

Rebecca places the groceries in the boot of her silver Toyota. She starts the car and makes her way out of the small parking lot. As she is driving, a wave of anxiety blows over her. Suddenly, she is aware of every move she and the people around her make. The cold drink truck edging around the corner; the young man running past the car, his arms swaying as he propels himself forward; the slow, almost silent hum coming from the engine.

Rebecca jolts with fright as her cell phone rings, breaking the silence. She stretches past her bag next to her, to answer her mobile. As soon as she answers, she feels her bodies tension ease. The voice immediately comforts her. Jacob’s voice has always had a calming effect on her and today is no different. They discuss the plans for the following day; their engagement party.

There is a screech and the sound of metal being crushed can be heard by Jacob. Then, the line goes dead.

When the police finally manage to contact Jacob, he is frantic with worry. They inform him of their where abouts. Jacob immediately races to the scene of the accident. He can see the front of Rebecca’s silver Toyota moulded into the side of a rubble truck. The police do not allow him any closer and so he is forced to stand alongside the rest of the people gathering, whose morbid curiosity has clearly gotten the best of them.

A paramedic approaches Jacob and quietly whispers something to him. The words take a moment to make an impact. Then, Jacobs face drains of blood and a tear forms in his eye. His darling fiancé but never to be wife.

As he walks over to the mangled car, it appears that there is nothing to save. The car is completely crushed and everything inside, destroyed. A single tear escapes his eye. He notices something glinting in the wreckage. Before he is able to go any closer, another paramedic hands him a folded piece of paper. Jacob unfolds it and discovers his great-grandmothers apple pie recipe that was the cause of Rebecca’s death.

He hears a paramedic asking for the time of death. The reply, “eleven fifty-eight.” Jacob remembers the glimmer of colour in the wreckage. He lifts a piece of metal and finds a bag of apples, blood red against the midnight gloom. Another tear forces its way past the rim of his eye; a sign of mourning for his dear fiancé.

You and Me

A single teardrop is allowed, before I break my being proud

And so I lay here, being sad because I find no reason to be glad

I cannot wash the pain away, but still I pray every day

That maybe when the time is right, I’ll be strong enough to take flight

                         

And when I can soar up above, I just may find someone to love

And we can share out thoughts together, and be each other’s for ever and ever

And we can be that happy couple, always laughing on the double

Other people envy us, because loving each other is enough

Blessings and curses are to come, memories both sad and fun

Shared memories and long nights awake, I will remember once a day

And in my heart and in my thoughts now, I don’t even remember how

But now that you are gone from me, so is all the happiness and glee

When You Leave Me

Teardrops falling everywhere

Teardrops falling out of despair

Happiness is hard to find

You are the only one on my mind

Your fingers used to fit perfectly

The pain continues finding me

I need to see your face again

The memories are as strong as day

Hear your voice, soft and slow

Your sparkling eyes like a fireworks show

I miss the way you say my name

I know that it will never be the same

My mind races at the thought

Of everything to me you have taught

How to live and how to love

How to be free like a dove

And now that my heart is broke

I remember how we used to joke

Even when you leave me here

You’ll always remember me over there

Never Before

Never before have I laughed like an angel

And cried like a bird

Smiled like the sun

Only to get burned

Loved like a parent

Fought like a sun

Floated like a feather

Above everyone

Dreamed on a star

Glowed like the moon

Prayed like a nun

That I’ll see you real soon  

Time

Years are what? Just days put together.

Days are what? Minutes ticking by.

Minutes are what? Seconds, falling through your fingers.

The past is gone, so don’t try to change it.

The future is so far away!

Don’t try plan too far in advance.

Just let your mind stay in the present.

Which is what you may ask?

Present is the moment in which you are living.

No matter what people tell you you are

And no matter who they tell you to be

No one can make your decisions for you.

Take life in your own hands.

It’s your responsibility.

You have an entire life to live.

So live it!

And don’t bother telling yourself

To live without regrets.

Rather live in reality.

But live in YOUR reality!

Live for the moment.

And don’t be afraid to take a few leaps of faith.

So long as you live your life

To the best that you can.

And when your time is up,

Look back at what you’ve done.

Look at who you’ve impacted.

Your friends, your family.

Because everyone’s light must go out eventually.

Just make sure that yours goes out with a bang!

Welcome :)

My blog, BlueBerry CheeseCake, is a blog that i have set up in order to share my writings with other people. I write poems, songs and stories. I also draw. I hope to share my works with people all over the world. Iwould love to hear feedback, good or bad. email address: kez@webafrica.org.za Have fun :)