No More Misses Nice Girl

RIP to the old me but step back cuz I’m coming through to you

Goodnight kisses are in the past and I’m free to do what the damn I like, what I like

Say goodbye to what you used to think you know and

While you’re leaving you can make some space for my thrown 

I’m not gonna sit back down when I disagree with you

I’m gonna jump up and scream about whatever the damn I like, what I like
No more goody goody girl behind this door because
I’m no longer that girl next door

There’s no more misses nice girl, what a bore!

I’m gonna make it ‘til I break it and then I’ll throw it away

I’m gonna live my life the way I’ll live my life

And nothing you can do can ever change that
I don’t care what you think and I don’t care what you say
This is my life and that’s the way it’s gonna stay
 
You can’t change me for the greater good
I’ll just wreak havoc and do it all however the hell I like, how I like
You are fighting for the losing side now don’t you wanna win?
So join me in my quest to be free

You can come along and have fun or you could just stay there
But one way or another I’ll still do what the damn I like, what I like
So baby take my hand and we can do what we want
Don’t change for the world, change for yourself and let everyone else follow

I’m gonna live my life the way I’ll live my life

And nothing you can do can ever change that
I don’t care what you think and I don’t care what you say
This is my life and that’s the way it’s gonna stay

Together we can change the world; we’ll do it holding hands

We’ll run around the world together; colour it bright

And we will never ever back down during the fight

It’s time to make this difference now

 

I’m gonna live my life the way I’ll live my life

And nothing they can do can ever change that
I don’t care what they think and I don’t care what they say
This is my life and that’s the way it’s gonna stay

Heart Beat

I think it’s obvious, I think it’s clear

Its right in front of you, can’t you see me

Running after you, bending over backwards

Just for you to see me the way I see you

You smile straight at me and I can’t believe

You’re so completely oblivious to how I feel

How much longer will it take before you know

I don’t know what else I can do to show it

I wanna know, I wanna know what it feels like

To hold you, to hold you in my arms late at night

I wanna feel, I wanna feel your heart beat right next to me

Next to me, next to me, all of the time

We dance around late on a Saturday night

We laugh and sing and just act silly

I just cannot wait for you to know

How I’m feeling, I wanna be yours

And when we fall down on the bed

I swear I may as well have just hit my head

You make me feel like I am on a high

You are the only thing I want in life

I wanna know, I wanna know what it feels like

To hold you, to hold you in my arms late at night

I wanna feel, I wanna feel your heart beat right next to me

Next to me, next to me, all of the time

And then one cold day, we were sitting in Biology

You turned around and you smiled

You smiled a smile that could have melted an iceberg

And you winked at me and said

I wanna know, I wanna know what it feels like

To hold you, to hold you in my arms late at night

I wanna feel, I wanna feel your heart beat right next to me

Next to me, next to me, all of the time

It’s two AM and I’m feeling cold and feeling lonely

And then your names pops up on my messages

I smile a smile that could melt an iceberg

And I can finally say that you are mine

And now I know, now I know what it feels like

To hold you, to hold you in my arms late at night

Now I know, now I know what it feels like to have your heart beat

Next to mine, next to mine, all of the time

Regret

I smile and act like I’m okay

And every day I silently pray

That I will come out even stronger

Than when I first began to wonder

I lost my way once, a long time ago

Since then I’ve drowned in sorrow

That I never tried to give my all

That is where I began to fall

I am sorry that I have disappointed you

I don’t know what is left for me to do

I’ll never be anyone’s idea of perfection

I know that every time I see my reflection

Believe me, this was not what I wanted

I never thought I would feel this hunted

And I’m sorry that I have let you down

I wish it could be different some how

It pains me to write this, more than you’ll know

I cannot seem to find the words that could show

How much it truly kills me inside

To know how much I have lied

I promise you, it was for the best

I hope that you will find your rest

Without me haunting you always

Without me hurting you for days

I’m sorry that I could never stand

To be one of the mighty or the grand

And I have held you back for too long

I will leave you with one last song

I hope that it will prove my love for you

Although I could never truly show you

I’m sorry that I have been so pathetic

It seems our love was anti-magnetic

Just know that if I had made a connection

I would have made it beyond perfection

But if the truth could have been told

You are not the one I wished to hold

I guess the point I am making

Is I was never for the taking

And now my eyes have been opened so wide

I wish I was with you and every night I cry

I trust that you are safe without me

And wish that together, we could be

I miss you every day and every night

And always, I’ll regret taking flight.

  

YOU ARE WORTHY!

  The following post may be hard to read, but it is important for me to put it out there. It is important for me to explain my story to the world, but it is also important for me to share this with people who are in a similar position to me, so that they can see that they are not alone. And I stand by what I say when I say that YOU ARE WORTHY!   

When I was in primary school, some people decided that I wasn’t good enough for them. They began teasing me and soon, I felt like it was a world-wide craze. I felt so trapped in my own body. To this day, I still don’t know why I was targeted. Whether it was that I wasn’t thin enough, pretty enough or my personality wasn’t “just right” I will never know. And to be honest, it doesn’t matter in the greater scheme of things.   

  Throughout my primary school career, I had next to no friends. As we grew up and my peers began to go out together to see a movie, or to get a slice of pizza, I began to realise more and more how alone I truly was.  By grade three, it had become habit that almost every day after school, I would find myself sitting in my room, tears streaming down my face, asking why I wasn’t good enough for people.

  Now don’t get me wrong, I tried to get help many, many times but no matter how hard I tried, nothing ever seemed to work. I was trapped in an endless world wind, with no way of ever surfacing.

  By grade five, I began to make friends, but I still never seemed to fit in the way others did around me. My world still didn’t seem to get any brighter and the scales above my head never seemed to get any lighter.

  I can still remember, clear as day, the moment when the world “I don’t want to play with you” were said to my face. It broke my heart. Of course, these words are powerful, even when coming from an eleven year old. It’s not like it wasn’t pre-empted though, as the week before I had had lice. What child doesn’t get lice at least once in their school career? I’m sure I don’t need to say that those words stung.

  I was in the bathroom one when one of my arch enemies turned around to me and mouthed the word “bitch!” to me. Not such a big deal, I know, but at the time, it really hurt me. Soon I began to believe everything that people said to me.

  I started grade seven with a grand total of one person who I was willing to call a true friend. At my school, grade seven is the start of high school. So that meant new teachers, new subjects and a new me. I began to change the way I saw myself and it began to work. I had a group of “friends” for the first time and I had people to talk to and to be with. But I still felt like I didn’t belong because the other girls were friendlier, they spoke more, and they saw each other more often.

  This is when I first truly realised that I could write. I began to write songs and poems (although looking back I admit they weren’t very good).

  In grade eight, I crashed again. I’m not happy to admit it, but I completely lost myself. I never stopped writing, but I lost all sense of who I was and where I belonged.

  Grade nine was my turning point. I began to write more and more. And I began to find my place in the world. I decided then and there that I would grow up to write, no matter what.

  I also began finding my place socially. I formed a close bond to group of girls and we began to spend a lot of time together. It was here that I formed the bond with my best friend.

  I am now in grade ten and although the teasing and bullying has never stopped, I have begun to accept myself for who I am.

 

  I am a bit of a loner, a wonderer, a dreamer. I am musical, I play guitar, I bake and I draw. I am not the prettiest or the thinnest and that’s okay with me. I don’t have any guy friends, I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ve never kissed a guy before – and I’m proud of that! I snap sometimes and I lose control. I become a monster who unleashes her wrath upon anyone who tells me something I don’t like. I am slightly morbid and gothic and I read horror stories at two in the morning and then get scared to lock up the house, for fear that I may run into a psychotic clown or the ghost of my great, great aunt Tess. I am arty and I love to play around with my looks. I am also caring and I will always be there for anybody, no matter who, when they need someone to lift them up. I don’t judge people because I believe that everybody has their own reasons behind what they do.

  I am a proud writer, who writes her feeling down on the page. I dream of one day being a published author, with a lot of hard work, and being a coveted journalist.

  But most importantly, I am me. I am myself and I am proud of that! I make my own rules as I go along and over the years I have learned to let go of what people expect me to be.

  I will never be anyone’s idea of perfection, and I know that. I don’t expect anybody to be perfect, let alone myself.

  But I know that I am worthy of a place here on earth because otherwise I wouldn’t be here, and that goes for every precious soul walking the globe.

 

  Next time you’re having a bad day, or even a bad week, just know that people do care about and that YOU ARE WORTHY of whatever you desire. So long as you work hard, try, and be realistic, you will find that nothing is impossible.

  Just reach for your dreams, and don’t let what people say stop you. And never, EVER let anybody tell you that you are not worth it!

Running Free

No regrets, nothing to prove, just my word that I’m over you

You try to hide your true intentions behind a million petty lies

For so long, I believed you; I trusted everything that you said

You broke me down, like I was worthless, like you didn’t care

I believed all the false things that you tried to put inside my head

And that lead to me being broken like I was just another toy

I used to love you like you claimed to love me, but not anymore

For I have grown stronger than a solid mountain, you helped me grow

You touched my heart, with a scalpel and slowly the tears began to show

The pain that you put me through was more than I have ever known

I hope you’re happy now with the monster you’ve created

Because there’s no taming me now

I will survive all this heartbreak, and I will beat this stupid game

I was a victim and now I am free to be anything that I choose

I never wanted this to happen; I tried my hardest to reverse

But through all your broken heartlessness, you broke yourself

Don’t expect me to be there waiting when you need me one day

I’ll be running free and wild, on my own without a single care

I will be so happy without your painful clutches grabbing me

Holding me so tightly that I cannot even seem to bleed

I believed all the false things that you tried to put inside my head

And that lead to me being broken like I was just another toy

I used to love you like you claimed to love me, but not anymore

For I have grown stronger than a solid mountain, you helped me grow

Miss Me

Here I am now; I’m standing right in front of you

I’m standing here more exposed than I could ever want

You have me wrapped around your little pinkie

And I feel so trapped and alone

Don’t pretend like you have ever cared for me

Don’t just act like this is our story to be told

Because baby, I’m ready to move on, to break free

Our of your clutches and dark cold hands

If I left, would you care? If I left you, would you miss me?

If I ran away would you want to come find me?

If I hid from you, if I abandoned my place, in your hell

Would you care? Would you miss me at all?

Once upon a time, long long ago, I used to care for this little boy

The he turned around and he broke me completely

And I was left with nothing at all

Nothing to live for, nothing to live for

But now I’m tired of feeling so unworthy

And I’m scared that soon I’ll lose myself absolutely

So I’ll tiptoe my way out of your grasp

And run quietly, soundlessly into the night

If I left, would you care? If I left you, would you miss me?

If I ran away would you want to come find me?

If I hid from you, if I abandoned my place, in your hell

Would you care? Would you miss me at all?

And I’m happy where I am, I’m happy to be me

I’m happy to finally say that I’m free

I’ve moved on and I can hardly remember

The days when I felt so much pain

And once in a while, I’ll sit by myself

And remember the boy that I once loved

And I’ll allow myself one single tear

For everything that could have been

If I left, would you care? If I left you, would you miss me?

If I ran away would you want to come find me?

If I hid from you, if I abandoned my place, in your hell

Would you care? Would you miss me at all?

Perfect For Your Imperfections

She ran into her room and slammed the door behind her. Nobody had even known that she was home until that point, because nobody cared that she was home. She locked the door and ran to her bed just before she burst into tears. She grabbed her pillow and pulled it to her face so that nobody could hear her sobs, not that anyone would care if they did hear her.  She sat on her bed, with a pillow against her face, sobbing until her eyes ran dry, until she had no more breathe left in her. She lifted her face and listened. She strained her ears to hear even the slightest sound, but the world was still around her. It’s just me, alone, against the universe.

  What she didn’t know was that her mother had just left to go fetch her brother, James, from a friend.

  

Alison sat on her bed for what seemed like hours, counting all the mistakes she had made that day, all the reasons why she would never be good enough. She had received a less than perfect mark in biology, she had spilled the juice onto one of the girls that she had sat with in lunch, the spice that she had forgotten to add to the supper that she had already prepared for tonight. I will never be good enough!

  What Alison didn’t know was that her family didn’t like the spice that she had forgotten to add or that her friend who she had spilled the juice on had forgotten about it five minutes after the incident occurred.

Alison slid off her bed, weak from her pain, and went to retrieve her cell phone from her back pack. She turned it on, only to find that she had no messages. She moved to her computer and logged onto each of her social networking accounts. Each one was clear of any notifications or messages. Everybody hates me because I’m not perfect!

  What Alison didn’t know was that her best friend, Megan’s phone was broken, or that the internet had been down in their house the whole day.

When Alison finally mustered enough strength to leave her room, she found her mother and her little brother waling in, carrying groceries.

  “Ali, James asked me to get you a coke, since I got him one and he knows they are your favourite. Oh, and I bumped into Megan, she told me to tell you that her phone boke and that she’s been trying to get hold of you. And sweetie, the internet’s been down today so you have to give it a few minutes for everything to come through,”

As Ali was walking into her room, the house phone rang. She answered with a faint “Hello?”

  “Ali, I’m so glad I finally got hold of you,” Megan gushed, “my phone broke and my sisters been on the house phone all afternoon! I needed to tell you that Mrs Green called you after class, but you had already left. She said to tell you that she miss-graded your biology test. You actually got 98%!” Megan and Ali continued speaking for another hour. Ali finally said goodnight when her dad came home and it was time for supper.

At the dinner table, her dad tasted the stew.

  “Ali, this is delicious!” he dad exclaimed.

  “Thank you, but I forgot the cinnamon.”

  “Ali, we don’t eat cinnamon,” her mom said, with a smile.

James got up from his seat, handed her the coke that he had asked his mother to by just for Alison and gave her a giant hug. Although he was only eight, his hug was the biggest and most important one of Ali’s life. From that moment forward, she vowed that she would be less harsh on herself. In that moment, she realised that it was okay not to be perfect, and that people loved her, not despite of her imperfections, but because of them. She was human, just like anybody else. From that moment forward, she vowed that she would be less harsh on herself.

Unheard

I will just sit here and not say a word, because I know if I did, I wouldn’t be heard

You say that you care, that I mean a lot, but the truth of your words, to prove, you cannot

I am finally tired of hearing all these lies, so maybe it‘s time to say a few goodbyes

For far too long now, I have kept it inside, for far too long, to myself I have lied

So now, I swear, I will no longer conform, my life, I will now begin to transform

No for an answer is just not an option, the choices are mine and there’s no discussion

I will no longer let you break me down; it’s time to turn my frown upside down

Finally now, it’s my turn to shine, my lie, once more will be mine

Your words have the most dire effect, and to be nice, you must not neglect

You could make or break someone’s heart, so be wise with your choices from the start

And don’t come crying when you lose everything, because you were so intent on lying

It’s not my fault that you didn’t care, it’s not my fault that you didn’t dare.

One day you’ll look back and think of me, and this moment where I’ve decided to be care-free

And you will resent all that you missed, and in your eyes will form a mist

You will think of me and all you have lost, and everything that this moment has cost

And while you sit there being sad and blue, remember that I am not missing you

The Truth About Fandom

  If someone were to ask you what it means to be a fan, how would you answer? Many people act as if they are superior to one another, simply because they are a “bigger” fan. But tell me this; if you were better than others, surely you would be the ones with the fans?  Being a fan is not about how exclusive you are or how many people know your name. Being a fan is about how much you love and admire the person whom you are a fan of.

  I never really understood what it was like to be a fan of anyone until I watched the South African swimmer, Chad Le Clos, win gold against his hero, Michael Phelps. From that moment on, I have been a proud Chad Le Clos fan. I never realised how easy it is to get caught up by all the excitement over one person. And I did get swept up by all the cheering, stalking and vying for attention. And it’s fun and exciting, until someone gets hurt.

  I guarantee that if the people who we are fanning over knew what was going on, not only would they be unimpressed, but I think that they would be deeply hurt. The last thing any of them want is to be the reason why people are nasty. Now if we were all true fans, the thought of the person that you admire being upset should upset us as well. So why would we want to be the cause of them being down?

  If someone were to ask me what my definition of being a fan is, I would say this: A fan is someone who admires someone else. The fan does not necessarily have to be the best or be part of a club that proves their fandom. A fan can be just a simple person who admires the work of someone else.

  So I say, rather than being fans against each other, we should rather work on being fans with one another. Make our heroes proud, not disappointed. Make them stronger by sharing our love and strength with them. By being there for them, you are proving your support and nothing could make them happier.

The One

 

I see you walk past quietly

You look so sad and so defeated

I wonder what’s got you so down

But I know that I could never find out

 

You usually smile and say hello

To everybody but myself

But now it’s time to break out, of this bubble

And you can’t see what’s right in front of your eyes
 

I’m the one, the one, the one you are looking for

I’m the one, the one, the one that you are searching for
I’m the one, the one, the one that your heart is craving for
If you’d only understand, I’m the one
 
We’ve been best friends for forever now
And I know that that’s how it worked out
But now it’s time to break out, of this bubble
And finally open your eyes to what’s in front of you
 
You tell me everything now
And I don’t understand how you don’t see it
I don’t know how long I can handle it
Before my heart explodes out of my chest
 
I’m the one, the one, the one you are looking for
I’m the one, the one, the one that you are searching for
I’m the one, the one, the one that your heart is craving for
If you’d only understand, I’m the one

And I know that you don’t recognise me
As the one who should live beside you
And I know that you think that we’re just friends
But believe me when I say

I’m the one, the one, the one you are looking for

I’m the one, the one, the one that you are searching for

I’m the one, the one, the one that your heart is craving for

If you’d only understand, I’m the one

 

I’m the one, the one, the one you are looking for

I’m the one, the one, the one that you are searching for

I’m the one, the one, the one that your heart is craving for

If you’d only understand, I’m the one

 I’m the one.

 

 

Terre

I wrote this Shakespearean sonnet for my english class :) hope you enjoy it :)

A beautiful world, so pretty and calm

The sight to my eyes is a perfect scene

It has not been touched by a single bomb

A place so serene has never been seen

Never was such a stunning image shown

Such a phenomenal experience

Such a special sight has never been known

It’s so flawless in its own appearance

The flawless tears of the clouds o so pure

The softness of the suns bright golden rays

Emotions though heightened make me secure

And the whole day I never drop my gaze

Yet this world that we care so deeply for

Will be destroyed soon, and forever more

Dear Diary

Dear Diary

I saw him again today. Of course he didn’t see me, he never does. If I could have one wish come true, it would be that he would notice me. I never believed in love at first until I saw him. He was my first love. The second I laid eyes on him, I swore that I would not rest until he was mine. I’ve been working hard at it, but he’s just so… so… distant. And the other day, when I overheard him on the phone, he was talking to someone about how alone he felt. If only he knew. If only he knew how much I cared. If only he knew what I think of him. If only he knew that I cared. One day I will break all his barriers and we will be together. Until then I will continue to watch from a far. I believe that everything will be fine, some day. I just wish that someday would be today. One day, someday, he will be mine. I promise that right here, right now.

Diary, I love him. I know how strange it is, that I’m in love with a person who hardly knows my name, but I do. I love him. I love him more than anything I’ve ever loved in my life.

One day, I’ll have him all to myself, but for now, I’ve just got to live my life and act as normal as possible. Normal people sleep, which is what I am going to try and do now, not that it’s been easy lately.

Goodnight Diary, I hope tomorrow is a better day.  

 

Tell Me a Story

Tell me a story of a boy and girl

Who love each other more than anyone in the world

He’ll give her roses at the start of each day

She’ll give him love and a heart full of gold

Tell me a story of a love so strong

That no time or space could keep it apart

He’ll sing her songs when she’s feeling down

She’ll never leave him, never forget him

Tell me a story of two people in love

They’ll be together forever, for longer than that

He’ll give her a ring and they’ll seal the deal

And she’ll walk down the aisle in a beautiful white gown

Tell me a story of a fire that burns

So strong that no storm could ever extinguish

He’ll give her kisses and hug her all the time

She’ll give him her hand and herself completely

Tell me the story of a perfect fairy tale

Tell me the story of you and of me

Window Pane

A year ago I met you at a friend’s big summer bash

That night a year ago was the best mistake I made

We became the best of friends, we shared everything

People tell us that we could be so much more than this

And sometimes I sit alone and dream of our first kiss

But I would never ruin this perfect dream

Then you told me there was someone on your mind

You wanted her to be so much more than just a friend

My hopes shot up and my life was like a fairytale

You told me how her eyes shone like a million suns

An her hair was shinier than gold itself

She was perfect in every way possible

And now I’m standing by the door frame, listening

I can hear you and the care in your voice

An the wind chimes as you say those three words

I move towards the glow of the window

I peak through, unnoticed, at the beautifully sad scene

And the window shares its pane with me.

Goodbye

Goodbye world, I’m leaving now, I’m going out of town for a little while

And just in case I don’t return, perhaps a lesson will be learned

Don’t cry for what’s been lost, just remember what you’ve done in the past.

I don’t blame you for what unfolded, I blame you for not being brave

And now I don’t dare let myself go, unless my feeling I have dissolved

So I’m packing my stuff and I’m setting for sea, with all my emotions locked inside of me.

And if the clock could turn back time, I’d erase all those memories that shouldn’t be mine

And if in case you just don’t understand, although a clearer message I could not send

I’m leaving you and I’m leaving this life, so don’t try to stop me with another goodbye.

Experience is a Hard Teacher Because She Gives The Test First, The Lesson After

You know, I used to trust. I used to trust everybody. I used to trust you. I even used to trust myself but not anymore. No, now I don’t trust anybody. I’m scared to open up to anyone for fear that all this pain and heartbreak might be repeated. And yes, I got through it once, but I doubt that I could

do it again.

You see, when I first met you, everything finally made sense; everything I had ever heard of about love and friendship – it all made sense. I knew that I loved you and I knew that I cared for you, more than I had ever cared for anyone in my life. As our relationship advanced, so did my love. I grew to trust you, to respect you – I assumed you felt the same. But how wrong I really was; how naïve I turned out to be.

The first day I realised that you didn’t love me, I cried myself to sleep. The next day, again, I cried myself to sleep. Day after day, tear after tear, I realised I was growing stronger, prouder.

Then I saw you with your new group of friends. I saw you holding her like you had never held me before. I was sad and angry and hurt all over again. But then I realised that you simply were not worth it and I moved on.

One day, when one of your friends stabs you in the back, you’ll look back and remember that the person you threw away would never have done such a thing and you will cry. You will cry all the tears I cried because you will finally realise that I was the best thing that ever happened to you. You will see how loyal I was to you and you will weep at all that you have lost.

You loved me at my best and left me at my worst. I loved you at your best and continued loving you, through everything that you put me through. So where were you when I needed you? Where were you when you were the only thing I thought could keep me going?

I have taken my lessons that I have learned and I use them every day. It’s too bad you were too blind to see it when I did – because if you had, our situation would be very different indeed.

A Prayer From An Angel

A beautiful winter morning, snow is falling everywhere, I wake up to the sounds of birds, it seems as if they’re calling out my name.

I get dressed like any other morning, but something seems outta place, there’s nothing wrong, it’s just a feeling, I convince myself that it’s nothing.

Momma drives me to you house, it’s finally time at last, and now I’ve got that jittery feeling, you know the one, the one I got when I first saw you.

It’s finally time that we got wed, it’s time to tie our final thread, we make our way down to the chapel, in separate cars, its bad luck to see the bride.

I’m in a sparkling puffy dress, my shoes are tall, my hair is braided, just the way you always say is your favorite kind of look.

And I walk down the aisle, it’s so hard not to run, I wanna be in your arms, it’s time to start our lives together, let’s get this over with.

Suddenly it’s hard to believe that we are married, our moms and dads have said farewell and we are on our way to Paris.

And I couldn’t have wished for a better last night, it was perfect, just until the truck plowed into the side of the big black car, you were injured, and while I lay on the hard bed, I made a little silent prayer to the lord.

I said please save him, even though it’s much too late for me.

And this is a prayer from an angel to my6 angel, although I can’t be there with you right now, please know that you are always on my mind, not a day goes by when I miss your prayers, so here’s a prayer from an angel to an angel.

And this final prayer from an angel to her angel, I want you to know that I will always love you, our time was short but at nineteen years old, I found out what it felt like to be wed to your love.

And this is a prayer from an angel to my6 angel, although I can’t be there with you right now, please know that you are always on my mind, not a day goes by when I miss your prayers, so here’s a prayer from an angel to an angel.

Fate

It could only have ended in this one way

It was fate that brought us together many years back

And it will be fate that tears us apart in the end

And there’s just no way of stopping it.

It is now time to say our very last goodbye

And I’ll never forget you, what you brought to my life

You were my rock and my pillar for so long

And you’re the reason why today I am strong.

We’ve had a long run and we’ve been so happy

But it’s time to spread our wings as we soar through the sky

And it’s not to say that we won’t still be friends

But it’s time that we both take control of ourselves.

Sure I’ll miss our fun moments but I’ll end with a smile

We had a great time and it sure won’t be forgotten

Even though we won’t still be the very best of friends

I know that I’ve fought for you, right ‘til the end.

Open Up Your Heart

If this were the first time, the second or the third,

Then maybe I’d be able to give you what you need

But since this is a losing battle that I no longer wish to fight

And so I am ready to whisper one final goodbye.

I gave you the option of walking straight into my life

But time and time again you have proven me wrong

I should never have even invited you in here

If only I could have known all that it would bring.

My first expectations and the results I have gotten

Have proven my innocence and my simple misunderstanding

I guess that maybe you could blame me a bit

But the bulk of this hurt was never my fault.

Since when has it become a crime to open up your heart

To give someone that you love almost everything that is yours

And was it so wrong to expect a little in return

Maybe that was my downfall after all.

Although it hurts more than you could imagine

It’s time to put my needs before yours

For years I have given you everything in me

And now it’s time for it all to be returned.

I really am sorry for the pain this might cause

Please know that I do not intend to do so

But perhaps it will result from the truth

Please forgive me when I say that I am finally over you.

The Loving Hatred

The lonely stair that leads to absolutely nowhere and yet manages to lead everywhere.

An endless list of possibilities and each one is a s possible as the next

Leading to the darkest light that was ever imaginable, too bright to see the way.

The pleasurely pain that is hate, yet welcomed, bringing me down to reality.

The motionless heartbeat, immobile without you, yet it cannot work with you.

The sorrowless pity that I can feel, radiating off of you inner soul.

The loving hatred shared between us is clearly marked  on our blank faces

And my feeling for you will be evident for never ever after.

Forever and a Day

Each moment that I live without you, I get stronger every time.

You took my heart and broke it, even though you were never mine

But I sit down by the fire and I dream about my life

Every milestone, every tragedy, all the little things, you’re there to share

And yes I’ll cry a hundred teardrops when I’ll have to say goodbye

But no matter what you do, I’ll always try my hardest to forgive you

You mean so very much to me, more than you clearly think

I would climb a mountain for you; I would swim through the sea

I would hate to see you broken, or even the slightest bit hurt

I would feel incomplete not to have you in my dreams

And I know that life is tough right now but I know we’ll persevere

And in the end we’ll come out on top, it’ll all show for the best

Just know that when you need me, no matter how many bumps are in the road

I’m always willing to help you, because I truly deeply care

So in the future when I see you, and hopefully it will be soon

You’ll know how much I love you, forever and a day.