PS, I Miss You

Losing somebody that you love sucks. And I’m not talking about a loved one dying here. No, I’m talking about those times where you talk to somebody, twenty-four seven, for weeks at a time and then one day, it just stops. Suddenly there are no more late night conversations resulting in either one or both of you falling asleep without saying goodnight, only to wake up the next morning and continue that conversation as if nothing had ever happened. Suddenly life just becomes too busy, too hectic and your relationship suffers because of that. But why does a relationship have to suffer just because of external circumstances such as school, work or a new relationship that has been formed. Why does one person always get left feeling like the other one has simply moved on and forgotten them?

I lost him - to school. It all just became too much with the tests and exams – and me leaving for seven weeks hurt us even further, possibly to the point where it cannot be repaired. But surely, if we both wanted it, we could repair the relationship in a flash, as if nothing ever happened, as if, just like with a late night conversation, we were to ‘wake up’ and continue the conversation as if nothing had ever happened. But in order for that to work, both parties need to be on board, and unfortunately, in my situation and probably in most of these situations, one party is either unable or simply unconcerned with rekindling the dwindled flame.

Now, this I say directly to the person, should he realise that this entire article is dedicated to him. I realise that this whole situation is out of your hands and I do not blame you in any way. But I do miss you and I wonder if you miss me too, or if I’m an old chapter in your life – a chapter that you have long since read, experienced and now forgotten. Have you moved on, left me in the past? I hope not. I understand that you are swamped with work – so am I. but I just need to see something to show that you still care, even if it’s that you still care about what once was, not what will be.

I’m not about to play the blame game. I realise that it was my actions too, that caused the separation. But I’m making an effort now, I’m trying to change. Maybe I’m trying to change fate – and maybe that is impossible.

Just remember, when it’s late at night and you’re falling asleep, that I am thinking of you and that way, you will be thinking of me too.